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The difficult periods should become less intense and shorter as time goes by, but it takes time to work through a loss. Like many roller coasters, the ride tends to be rougher in the beginning, the lows may be deeper and longer. Instead of a series of stages, we might also think of the grieving process as a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our lives.” In her last book before her death in 2004, she said of the five stages of grief: “They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. Kübler-Ross herself never intended for these stages to be a rigid framework that applies to everyone who mourns. And if you do go through these stages of grief, you probably won’t experience them in a neat, sequential order, so don’t worry about what you “should” be feeling or which stage you’re supposed to be in. In fact, some people resolve their grief without going through any of these stages. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to go through each stage in order to heal. However, not everyone who grieves goes through all of these stages-and that’s okay. If you are experiencing any of these emotions following a loss, it may help to know that your reaction is natural and that you’ll heal in time. The five stages of griefĪnger: “ Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”īargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will _.”ĭepression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”Īcceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.” In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief.” These stages of grief were based on her studies of the feelings of patients facing terminal illness, but many people have generalized them to other types of negative life changes and losses, such as the death of a loved one or a break-up.
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Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. Healing happens gradually it can’t be forced or hurried-and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Inevitably, the grieving process takes time. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and how significant the loss was to you. Grieving is a highly individual experience there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Read: Bereavement: Grieving the Loss of a Loved One. But in time, you can ease your sorrow, start to look to the future, and eventually come to terms with your loss. After such a significant loss, life may never seem quite the same again.
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Whether it’s a close friend, spouse, partner, parent, child, or other relative, few things are as painful as losing someone you love.
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